Neurodivergent Black woman ...

Excerpt from my Trauma Healing Book "Frankincense and Tea"

I speak as a neurodivergent Black woman, who deals with chronic pain from time to time, and was raised by narcissistic abusive parents. Listen closely to this story.....

Back in the day, every move I made those younger years, I was always trying to make people love and accept me for less than nothing. Even when I didn't receive it, I went hard for them. That time, I didn't experience genuine love before. I moved like a pick-me. I moved in low self esteem. I moved like someone who will do anything for bread crumbs of affection.

It wasn't till I pulled my energy back, that people shifted. Healing continuously. Nourishing my spirit. Giving my inner child movements of freedom. To mourn the past and lovingly watch myself cry. Held myself tightly. Protected. Growing.

I snapped and took back my energy.

No longer do people have access without an appointment. No longer do men get to step on my energy, to get ahead in life. They used to know me, as a weak person, because I was abandoned by my father. Yet I forgot that he left behind his kingdom. My ancestors came for me. They reminded me, in our language, who I am.

They told me: "Child, our son was still a child when he had you." They told me their son, my father, had me too young. He was looking to me to raise him emotionally. This was our toxic bond. How he gifted me his sad pain and left before I could see him be a man. Later, this is why I allowed men access to me, who have yet to become whole. I allowed them emotionally be raised by me, accepting less. Without being held up by them. They looked to me for growth, and called it love. They broke me into pieces, and were nourished by my sad states. It fuelled them to see me broken, just like it fuelled my father. Who used to put his hands on me. Hurting me was their sustenance, and I saw that as love. My ancestors told me more, but this was the core lesson I needed the most.

I move differently now. Some remarked I grew taller in size. This is what happens, when you retain your energy, and give it to no one unworthy.

This is how it looks. When you return back to yourself. Whole.

Excerpt from my Trauma Healing Book "Frankincense and Tea"